Ash's Adventure with lots of Women
by Septentrion Euchoreutes
Summary: Ash is given special gifts and starts his journey with lots of women. AshxHarem smart!Ash powerful!Ash older!Ash womanizer!Ash darker!Ash aura!Ash shirtless!Ash legendary!Pikachu morethan6pokemon!Ash Misty Iris Cynthia Latias Gary's-Cheerleaders May Dawn Serena Female-gym-leaders! Part 2: Next Generation OC also gets a harem with humans and pokémon. Note: THIS IS A PARODY!
1. Chapter One

Ash woke up and realized he was late for getting his first pokémon.

"Oh no," Ash said, "My alarm broke!"

He ran downstairs and smelt eggs and bacon.

"I cooked you breakfast," said a voice that was most definitely not his mother.

Ash turned to see the llama-god himself, Arceus.

"Arceus, what are you doing in my house, and wearing an apron?" Ash said.

"I usually have to show up in Chapter One to make someone the Chosen One. This usually involves a lazy non-sequitur exposition from dream-sky place. I thought I would try something new. Please, sit down and eat your breakfast," Arceus said.

"I don't really understand any of that, but I'm late for getting my pokémon," Ash said.

"This will all work itself out, trust me," Arceus said.

Ash sat down and started eating his breakfast. Then Arceus started his exposition.

"Ash, on you journey to become the world's greatest pokémon master, you will court many women. You will be given the power to choose any mate you want," Arceus said.

"Huh?!," said the ten year old.

"Better do something about your age," Arceus said, "I will also change the trainer starter age in this universe."

Suddenly, Ash was a muscular sixteen year old boy with a charizard tattoo going down his arm.

"I just lost six years of my life," Ash said, "But what's this about many women?"

"Well, you were technically in a coma, but that would take a while to explain. All your female companions that you met in the other universe will meet you within the year. They will all be your girlfriends but you can only marry one," Arceus said.

"I can only marry one. Isn't that normal?" Ash said.

"Fine, you can marry two people, and a pokémon," Arceus said, "Of course, you don't have to get busy with that pokémon."

"I um, okay," Ash said, "That really isn't necessary, is it?"

"I will grant you the power of make pokémorphs out of offspring with pokémon."

"Now I'm getting kind of uncomfortable," Ash said, "I mean, Latias was super cute as a pokemon, but not in a..."

"Latias it is then!" Arceus said.

"Hi Ash!" Latias said.

**10 minutes later**

"Ash, I admire your determination to get a pokemon," Professor Oak said, "But what about the two legendary pokemon behind you?"

"Arceus said it was destiny," Ash said.

"Okay, but all I have is a Pikachu," Professor Oak said.

**Please review. Who should be in Ash's harem?**


	2. Chosen One

**I got a lot of votes. Anyways, here are the results: 10 for Dawn, 9 for May, 8 for Serena, 6 for Iris. 4 for Cynthia, 3 for Bianca and Sabrina, and 2 for Gardevior, Solidad, and Lucario and various girls with one vote. Latias is going to be Ash's wife, as per what Arceus has decreed. Latias's love of Ash is much deeper and more special than humaniod shaped pokemon or humans have to offer. Also, Ash might like her, maybe.**

Arceus, Ash, Latias, and Pikachu were standing outside the entrance to Route One.

"Okay, this is going to be an important step on my journey," Ash said.

"We could just fly," Latias offered.

"Pika-Pika," said Pikachu, which translates to "**yeah.**"

Suddenly, two people and a Meowth appeared.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"Latias," ash said, "Use mist ball!"

The trio was hit by the attack.

"Hey!" Jesse said, "You don't interrupt the motto."

"Sorry I don't have time for you," Ash said.

"You better make time," James said, "We may have failed stealing Pikachu in the other timeline, but this time we've brought firearms!"

James pulled out a gun and pointed it at Ash.

"No!" Arceus yelled as he jumped in front of Ash. A gunshot went off and Arceus fired a disintegration beam and killed Team Rocket. Arceus feel down bleeding.

"Arceus!" Latias and Ash yelled while Pikachu yelled, "PiPia!" which translates into "**Arceus**!"

"It's okay. I will have to return to my realm for a while to recover," said Arceus.

"But, I thought you were invulnerable," Ash said.

"I've given too much of my power away to various Chosen Ones across the world. It leaves me vulnerable to things like bullets," Arceus said.

"There are other Chosen Ones?," Ash asked.

"Yes, many," Arceus said, "But know this: you are the most Chosen of Chosen Ones. You are more special than anyone else. The trials and tribulations that await you are greater than what any other pokémon trainer has faced before. If you falter even a little bit, it may end in disaster for all."

Arceus started to fade out of existence.

"Ash, one more thing," he said, "I will give Pikachu some of my powers."

"Okay, thanks," Ash said.

Arceus opened a portal and limped through it.

"Wait! When do I start meeting girls?" Ash said.

"You always have me," Latias said.

**Later that day.**

"I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, and I wish to challenge the gym leader for the Earth Badge!" Ash said.

"Oh, a Latias?" Giovanni said, "This will… be interesting."

"I'm challenging you with Pikachu," Ash said.

"Yeah, I'm just his pokéfiancé," Latias said.

"What is this nonsense. You can't expect to take down a ground type gym with a Pikachu, do you?" Giovanni said.

"I do," Ash said, "Go Pikachu!"

"Pika!" said Pikachu which roughly translates to "**Affirmative!**"

"Go Nidoqueen!"

"Pickachu, use Ice-Judgement!"

A blizzard shot out of Pikachu's tail and froze Nidoqueen solid!

"Impossible," said Giovanni, "A literal ass-pull!"

"Are you going to use your next Pokemon?" Ash said.

"No," Giovanni said, "This is… is ridiculous. Here, have the damn Earthbadge."

"Hurray! I've got my first badge!" Ash said.

Giovanni walked off angrily.

**Quicker battles means more time for the ladies. Anyway, what I should have asked last chapter is "Who should Ash marry?"**


	3. A Special Trainer

"Pikachu, use Judgement," Ash said.

Pikachu summoned a thousand gallons of water and shot it at Brock's onix.

"No" said Brock, "I thought I was finally going to win when you used Pikachu. I'm such a failure of a gym leader."

"I'm sorry, but can I get the badge?"

"Yes, I keep them in a box by the door. Take one as you leave. It's not like I ever win," Brock said.

**Later, elsewhere in a Team Rocket Hideout.**

Two Team Rocket grunts were having a battle in a pit while a Team Rocket executive watch.

"Lucario punch that bitch!" one of the grunts said.

Lucario punch the sylveon brutally in the face, knocking it over.

"You useless pokemon," the losing grunt said kicking the sylveon.

"You're useless too!" the winning grunt said punching Lucario in the face

"That was a most excellent fight," the executive said while kicking an eevee.

Suddenly Ash burst in.

"Is there a bathroom in here?" Ash asked.

"Crap, we've been discovered," one of the grunts said.

"I'll take care of this. Go Nidoking," the executive said throwing a evil looking pokéball.

A super bruised and injured Nidoking materialized.

"Crap, I've abused all my pokémon too much," the executive said, "we must flee."

The Rocket threw smoke bombs and disappeared. All that was left behind was a lucario, an eevee, and each of the eevolutions.

**Later at the Pokemon center...**

"Excuse me, but I've rescued these pokémon from Team Rocket," Ash said to Nurse Joy.

"How horrible, I'll get them healed right away. It will take a while," the nurse said.

"Okay," Ash said as the nurse went to the back room to heal all the pokémon.

"Let's consummate our relationship," Latias said.

"I'm not sure what that means," Ash said.

"I'll show you what it means," Latias said.

"Latias, what are you doing on top on me?"

"Don't worry, it'll be fun."

"Okay?"

**20 Minutes Latias**

"I don't know," Ash said.

"what do you mean," Latias said lying down.

"I just don't understand what happened," Ash said.

"You're a man now," Latias said.

Nurse Joy came back from healing all the pokémon.

"All the eevolutions and the lucario has been healed but unfortunately, they don't have a trainer to take care of them."

"It's too bad I can only have six pokémon," Ash said.

"I think we can make an exception. You did rescue all of them and you're a very kind trainer. What other trainer would go through all the trouble of saving injured pokémon? Clearly, we can make a one-time exception for you because no other trainer understands that you should be nice to pokémon."

"But, that's twelve pokémon," Ash said.

Eevee, Lucario, Vaporeon, Leafeon, Umbeon, Flareon, Jolteon, Espeon, Glaceon, and Sylveon all jump and gave Ash a hug.

"Well, they all like you. You are a very, very, special trainer," Nurse Joy said.

**Next chapter, Ash meets some old female companions in Cerulean City.**


	4. Girls like Cool Guys

May, Dawn and Misty were hanging out in a hotel room after the final day of the contest was over.

"You did very well in the contest, May. I think you should have won," said Dawn.

"Ya, I know," May agreed.

"What did you think of my performance?" Dawn asked.

"It was cute. How do you wear that skirt anyways?" May asked, "It's so short that it should be showing your panties every time you move, but I have yet to see you flash anyone. It's like you have some sort of spell on it.

"Oh that? It's actually a mix of nanofabrics and invisible garter belts. I don't think a single man has ever gotten so much as a glance up my skirt," Dawn said.

"So it's actually impossible to look at your underwear up that skirt?"

"Well I wouldn't say impossible, if a spread my legs apart like this while sitting down then…"

Suddenly Ash walked in and saw Dawn's panties. Dawn fell over backwards.

"Nooo, My innocence," Dawn yelled.

"I'm sorry I must have gotten the wrong room," Ash said.

"No don't go, this feels like destiny," May said.

"Yes, I feel like we've met before," Misty said.

Dawn covered herself back up and said, "I do feel like I know you, but you've seen what no man should. Now the image of my underwear will forever be in your mind and my image will forever be dirtied by your masculine desires. The only way to maintain purity now is to marry you."

"Stop being so melodratic about childish things," Misty said, "So he saw your underwear. Big deal."

"Well, he does have to marry two human girls," Latias said coming through the door.

"A latias," May said, "that so cool. The only thing more cool would be if he had a lucario."

"I do have a lucario."

"Wow, you really are cool," May said starry eyed.

"Lucario isn't that impressive," Misty said, "Vaporeon is such a better and more powerful pokemon."

"I have one of those in my party also."

"Really? You really must be one of the best trainers in the world. That's pretty good coverage with those three pokemon," Misty said.

"Well, I actually use Pikachu for all my fighting. He's been blessed by Arceus."

"Arceus? You've been chosen by Arceus?" Dawn asked amazed, "That's a pretty big deal."

"That's enough about me," Ash said, "what do all of you do?"

"Dawn and I do contests" May said, "Misty sorts of just follows us around."

"Hey, I happen to be the gym leader of Cerulean City," Misty said,

"But I beat that gym today and only your sisters were there," Ash said.

"Well I'm in training so I can come back and lead the gym."

"I haven't seen you do much training, Misty," said May.

"I didn't even know you had pokemon until you said it just now," said Dawn.

"Well, it not like I'm the only one who did nothing with her life," Misty said.

"I stopped a madman from destroying the universe and remaking it without human spirit," Dawn said.

"I stopped eco-terrorists from destroying Hoenn," May said.

"but but…"

This was the first time Ash heard of these heroics. May and Dawn did nothing like that in the other timeline.

"I think I'll just go get another room," Ash said.

"Good idea," Latias said," It will just be the two of us."

"Don't go" said all the girls in unison.

Ash headed for the door. "Sorry, I can't handle this sort of drama, and it would be quite improper for a boy to share a room with a bunch of…"

Ash's heart stopped as the door opened. A girl with honey colored hair opened the door with the hotel key. The girl looked at him.

"Excused me, this is room 324, right?" The girl asked shyly.

"yes, I was just checking for..." Ash mumbled.

"I could ask for a new room if I'm not supposed to be here," Serena suggested.

"No, you're welcome here if you'll like to stay," Ash said.

Serena walked into the room and closed the door with Ash still in the room. Ash walked away from the exit.

"You sure changed your mind quickly," Latias said.

Serena walked in and saw the other girls.

"There's only two beds." Serena said.

"I guess all the girls will sleep in one bed while Ash and I get the other one," Latias said.

"Can you even fit with those wings?" Misty asked.

"Technically, no," Latias said.

"I'm not sleeping three to a bed," Dawn said, "unless Ash is there."

"I don't see how this can work out fairly," Serena said.

"How about we just push the beds together," Ash said.

"Then I could fit!" Latias said, "I'll just lie atop of Ash as he takes the middle."

Serena whispered to Dawn, "Am I the only one who thinks that Latias a bit too involved with Ash? It's sort of creepy."

"I actually think it's sexy in a forbidden kind of way," she replied.

**Next chapter: Ash vs Erika**


	5. The Most Chosen of Chosen Ones

**Thank you for 10,000 views! Please review.**

Ash woke up to the smell of eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns.

"Arceus, you're okay!" Ash said.

"Yes, I have returned from my realm fully healed," he said while telekinetically cooking over a stove.

Ash jump out of bed and hugged Arceus.

"I'm so glad you're okay and that I get to taste your cooking again. It's really the best breakfast I've ever had," Ash said.

"It's one of my greatest passions," said Arceus, "now can you hand me some butter?"

"Sure thing, Arceus."

Misty woke up.

"Arceus, is that really you?" Misty said, "Cooking breakfast?"

"Yes, I'm cooking breakfast for everyone. After all, it's extremely likely that at least one of you is going to marry the Chosen One someday. I plan April 13th for the wedding."

"Well, it smells good so I don't really care what implications are involved," Misty said.

And so everyone ate breakfast. Along with eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns Arceus whipped up some pancakes with blueberries baked in, some waffles, and French toast with strawberry syrup.

"Arceus, if I don't marry Ash can I marry you?" May asked, "The poke-sex would be weird as all hell, but having you cook for me each day would be totally worth it."

"I already had Diantha purpose to me for the same reason, but we'll see May," Arceus said.

**Twenty minutes later when they were getting ready to leave, Dawn and Latias were talking in the bathroom.**

"Latias, I think I like Ash, but I'm not sure how to make him like me," Dawn said.

"Well, he likes it when I psychically paralyze him to hold it down so he can't possibly resist. Actually, it may just be the vibrations since I don't let him communicate, but he has pretty decent longevity when I do that," Latias said.

"Well I mean before the sex, and without having psychic powers as a prerequisite," Dawn said.

"Oh, tell him you love him, and after that, anything you do to him is far game unless he specifically tells you he does not want to go further," Latias said.

"Latias, where did you learn your social skills," Dawn asked quizzically.

"I'm self-taught," Latias said proudly, "I'm pretty good if you're asking me for advice despite having no family to raise me. I miss my brother,"

Latias cried and hugged dawn.

**Later, at Celadon Gym**

"Okay forth badge, here I come," Ash said about to walk into the gym's door."

The door come open and Gary came flying out.

"No boys allowed," said a large and muscular woman.

"You can't do this," Gary said.

"The gym leader is allowed to reject any challenger to her gym. That means no flying types, no fire types, no bug types, no ice types, no pokémon that can use any of those types of moves, and no boys!" The woman said.

Suddenly a girl holding a clefairy got thrown out of the gym.

"And what did that girl do?" Gary asked.

Erika, the gym stepped out of the gym.

"I don't allow bullies that use moves like safeguard. As a strong woman and a gym leader, I'm a superior tactician when it comes to pokémon, and when my status moves are nullifies, it's cheating," Erika said.

"When was the last time you actually won a battle?" Gary asked.

"That's none of your business," Erika said.

"How about if you battle Pikachu? Ash said, "Surely you have nothing against pikachus."

"Fine," Erika said, "but anything stronger than thundershock is cheating. And no dodging or deflecting my stun spores or poison powder."

"Go Pikachu! Use Thudershock."

"Gloom use Stun Spore!"

Gloom got hit but Pikachu was unaffected.

"What?" Erika asked.

"Electric types can't be paralyze, even by grass type moves."

"Yes I know that. I was just checking to see if you knew that," Erika covered.

"Gloom, Poison Powder!"

Pikachu quickly became steel and was unaffected. Which another Thundershock Gloom was defeated.

"No, I'm not accepting this," Erika said, "This battle is over."

Erika stormed into the gym. While Gary's cheerleader came around the back.

"Well, Ash, its looks like no one is getting a fair fight out of this gym," Gary said.

"Yeah, how the hell did she get this job?" Ash said.

"Nepotism," Gary said, "Also, my cheerleaders sneaked in and grabbed some Rainbow Badges." Gary tossed one of them over to Ash.

"This feels so unearned," Ash said.

"Ash," Arceus said, "You did you best in an unfair situation. There is no shame in that."

"Is there a single competent female –current- gym leader in Kanto?" Misty asked annoy, "first my sisters, then this monstrosity." Misty was not at happy.

Ash, however, was frozen in fear for the next leader was…

**I did have a story planned where the girls turn Ash into a girl to get the badge, but I could only go with one thing. Beside, girls wanting to turn boys into girls is kind off common place enough in real life.**


	6. Battle of Destiny

… Sabrina

Ash walked fearfully into the gym. Then he remembered he was at least ten times stronger than last time, but who knows how strong Sabrina was this time around. Dark type Pikachu would be affective, but what if she has Signal Beam?

Ash walked to the arena.

"Well if it isn't the Chosen One," Sabrina said.

"I'm here to get your gym badge," Ash said.

"You may think that, but your purpose here is much greater," Sabrina said.

There was an explosion from the side of the area, and when the smoke clear, the entire wall was missing. Two figures stood there.

"Giovanni and Mewtwo!" yelled Ash recognized the two figures as Giovanni and Mewtwo.

"As you see," Sabrina said, "You must defeat the most evil man in all of Johto and Kanto. If you seceed, you will bring peace to the lands for the next ten thousand years. Only you can be the hero to save the world."

"But, what is Giovanni doing here?" Ash said.

"It is the duty of every bad guy to seek out heros that can thwart them," Giovanni said.

Giovanni and Mewtwo started to move their arms and feet in synchronized dance. They both stuck out their pinkies and step toward each other. When they brought their hands together, they shouted, "FUUSSSIIIOOOONNN!"

They used the fusion technique to become a dark Mewtwo of pure evil.

"This doesn't look good," Ash said.

Mewvanni raised his hand.

"Ash Ketchem, you die today," Mewvanni said.

But then, a giant pokémon crashed through the ceiling. It was Lugia, who stood in between Ash and Mewvanni.

"Ash," Lugia said, "I have come to assist you, and I've brought help."

Then a bunch of legendary pokémon appeared to fight Mewvanni. They included Zapdos, Articuno, Moltess, Mew, Raikou, Entei, Suicune, Ho–Oh, Celebi, Jirachi, Vinciti, Meloetta, Mega-Dainace, Deoxys, Diagla, Palkia, Cresselia, Manaphy, Shaymin, Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion, Keldeo, Tornadus, Thundurus, Landorus, Zekrom, Reshiram, Kyurem, Genesect, Xernues, Yveltal, Zygard, and even Unowns E through Q.

All the legendary pokémon fired their attacks at Mewvanni but Mewvanni evaded the attacks. Ash sent out all twelve of his pokémon.

"Pikachu, use Judgement. Latias, use Mist Ball. Eevee things, use whatever attacks you use!"

Everyone kept trying to hit Mewvanni, but Mewvanni kept evading. Lucario stepped up to ash and handed him a glove. It was Sir Aaron's glove.

"Lucario, are you…"

"I am the reincarnation of Sir Aaron," Lucario said, "My glove will give you aura powers."

"What? That's awesome."

"Also, despite being a reincarnation of Sri Aaron, I'm a girl lucario and we can fornicate later."

Ash was grossed out a bit, but he had to put on the glove. As soon as he put on the glove a ball of aura formed. Ash aimed his hand and shot Mewvanni. Mewvanni was stunned, and then he was blasted by a couple dozen attacks from the legendary pokémon. Mewvanni was quickly obliterated by all the attacks.

"You saved the world," Sabrina said sensually, "You know what they do to heros?"

"Throw parades?" said Ash before being kissed by Sabrina.

"If you don't mind doing thing kinky, I'll being using my powers," Sabrina said.

"What do you mean by kinky?" Ash asked while red from embarrassment.

Suddenly, Ash start shrinking until he was only nine inches tall.

"What are you planning? Ash asked shivering from the floor. Everyone was a giant now, and it was quite scary. The heat seemed to be sucked out of him and the air was very cold on him. On the other hand, he did like looking up Sabrina's skirt. It was a negative experience overall.

"Your lost body heat fast as you lost most of you mass and insulation," said Sabrina, "I know how to warm you up."

Sabrina put her figures to her mouth and made a large whistle noise. Latias came to her.

"Latias, if you'll lie down on your back," Sabrina said while picking up Ash.

**35 Minute Latias**

Ash was returned to his normal size, although he was still very moist. Latias started leading him to the Pokémon Center. Then he ran into all his female companions.

"Ash," Serena said, "What happened to you? You look shocked… and slimy."

"I can't explain what happened," Ash said.

"Was saving the world that dramatic of an experience?" May asked.

"Saving the world?" Ash ask, "Oh yeah. I forgot I did that today."

A beam of light came down from the sky were Arceus descended.

"Ash, you have done more than any other human has ever done. It is now time to earn you reward. I shall anoint you with the power and duty to breed a race of pokémorphs through bestiality. You shall now choose your two human wives as well."

**Who will Ash choose? How many children with each of his wives will he have? How many pokechildren will he have? Will Ash being betrayed happen? Find out in the final chapter, which happens to be next chapter!**

**Favorite, Follow, and Review!**


	7. Ash BETRAYED! (End of Part 1)

"Alright, the marriage ceremony will soon begin," Arceus said, "Suggest you choose your wives soon."

"Not so fast!" said a familiar male voice behind them.

They all turned around. It was Brock, accompanied by Cilam, Drew, Gary, Max, Tracy, and Iris.

"Brock, accompanied by Cilam, Drew, Gary, Max, Tracy, and Iris!" Arceus said, "what are you do here?"

"Well, me and accompanying parties have something important to say to Ash," Brock said.

"Ash," Iris said, "You need to give up on your dream of becoming a pokémon master."

"What, why?" Ash said.

"You just aren't good enough," Drew said, "You'll never be able to reach your dream of becoming the best."

"Yeah, all the odds are against you. You won't make it," said Calim, " also, something food pun."

"I'm... confused," said Ash.

"Just confused?" ask Brock, "Don't you feel, betrayed? Like you lost something and must spend a lifetime making up for it?"

"No."

"Don't you get it Ash," Iris screamed, "We're betraying you. We came all the way out here from all around the world just to turn our backs on you!"

"I don't see how this is betrayal," Ash said, "You're just telling me I can't do something when I clearly can. Heck, it won't even be hard. I have a god for a pokémon."

"But you'll know you'll fail," Brock said.

"I don't see how I _can_ even fail. I've been given so much power. Pikachu is a god, My maximum number of pokémon was increased on a whim, and the author... I mean Arceus will just keep giving me advantages over everything even when I can do everything with ease."

"Don't worry Ash," Arceus said, "I will support you in all your times of need, as I always have."

"I was the most powerful trainer in the world before I even finished Route 1. What times of need have I been in? I didn't overcome anything. There's not even a point of taking on the Pokémon League. I might as well leave Pikachu with Mom and start over."

A stone was summoned from the sky.

"This is the omni-stone," Arceus said, "When you start over your adventure, use it on Eevee to create the most powerful eeveolution."

"STOP HELPING ME!" Ash said, "Fine, I finally quit this whole pokémon master thing."

Brock, accompanied by Cilam, Drew, Gary, Max, Tracy, and Iris all gasped.

"But, don't you have to prove to the world how big you dick is, I mean that you are the best pokémon master in the world?," Brock said, "Don't you have to prove it to everyone who _betrayed_ you?"

"No. I would just be crushing everyone in the world who had to same dream as me with an empty quest," Ash said, "It would have been better if I wasn't a Chosen One."

"Fine then, but now you must choose you mate," Arceus said, "I suggest giving a speech to every one of your female companions, just like that TV show."

Ash walking over to Iris.

"Iris, I have no clue why people ever ship us, even in a harem story," Ash said.

"I have no clue either," Iris said, "Let's forget I was ever here."

Sudden Cynthia appear.

"Cynthia is a good option for a wife," Arceus said, "She is a champion after all."

"What does that have to do with marriage?" Ash said.

"But the ships!" Arceus said, "fine, whatever then."

Cynthia disappeared.

"Are there going to be more warp ins?" Ash asked.

"One more," Arceus said.

Angie appeared.*

Ash walked over to to Angie an held her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Angie."

"Yes?"

"The author doesn't even know who you are."

Angie disappeared in a flash of light.

"No more warp ins please," Ash asked, "I don't want this to be more complicated than it is."

"Agreed," Arceus said.

Misty, May, Dawn and Serena were the only girls left. Ash walked over to Misty.

"Misty, You were the first girl to ever talk to me… I mean, you are the first girl to go on an adventure with me. Unfortunately, you just were kind of hanging around not doing much. I just didn't feel anything strong with you."

"Okay Ash, I understand," Misty said.

"Only three of us left," May whisper to Serena, "that's pretty good odds. Sixty-six percent."

"I wish we didn't have to share," Serena said.

Ash paced back and forth looking at the three remain girls.

"May, I don't know what to say. It was a tough choice, but I had to choose," Ash said.

Then Arceus step forward and made a declaration.

"Ash, I will let you have three human wives so you don't have to make a sacrifice."

"Actually, I was just avoiding telling her that I don't find her attractive," Ash said.

"Yeah!" Dawn said happily, "I get to marry Ash. So awesome! I hope he like kids."

"So I guess it's marriage time," Serena said shyly, "And just to be clear, It's not going to include May, is it? I don't want it to be crowded."

"You still have to make it official," Arceus said, "although you may still have a third, but I won't force you to."

"I don't wedding rings," Ash said.

"Just point to your mates and I will conjure the rings," Arceus said.

"Alright," Ash said, "I chose…."

"…"

"…"

…

…

"Gary!" Ash declared.

"What?" said Gary.

"Noooo," said Arceus, "You can't be gay. You must make children so I can give them all superpowers."

"No," said Serena, who's disappointment made her realize just how much she loved Ash.

"I'll totally ship that," said Dawn who was quite pleased with these result.

"It's my choice," said Ash.

"Shouldn't it also be my choice," said Gary.

"I don't think us girls ever had a choice," said Serena.

"Hey, don't mess with the rules of the power fantasy," Dawn said to Serena.

"I have doubts about who's power fantasy it is right now," Gary said.

"Well, the Chosen One has to be happy," Arceus said.

"Then there is only one thing to do," Serena said.

Serena march over to Ash, grabbed him and kissed him forcefully. Ash was stunned at first but then he started mirroring her tongue movements. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her bosom, which he grabbed grab as she place her hand on his butt. He reached up her skirt with his other hand and grabbed her ass.

"Save that for after the wedding," Serena said.

"Wow, that was amazing. I don't think I could have gotten those feelings from a man." Ash said.

"It's okay," Serena said, "Gary's hotness is enough to confuse anyone about their sexuality."

"Arceus, I chose Serena!"

"Congratulations Serena. Ash still has to choice at least one more."

"But I love Serena," Ash said.

"Just chose a girl you would still like to bone," said Gary, "that isn't too hard of a concept, is it?"

"Fine," said Ash trying to hide his enthusiasm, "I chose Dawn and Flannery."

Flannery was teleported in wear a wedding dress with a confused look on her face.

"and Flannery?" Serena complained.

"First random hot girl that came to mind," said Ash, "don't judge me. I was under pressure."

**The Wedding**

Serena, Flannery, and Dawn were all wearing wedding dresses.

"You may now kiss the bride," Arceus said.

Latias quickly came into a kissed Ash. Their mouth weren't really that compatible.

"You may now kiss the next bride."

Ash kissed Serena, who was blushing.

"You may now kiss the next bride."

Ash kissed Dawn, who held him tightly.

"You may now kiss the final bride."

Ash kissed Flannery, who despite being confused from being teleported to a polygamous wedding in a wedding dress less than two minute ago and sweating nervously, returned the kiss pretty passionately.

"I now announce you, husband and four wives."

"So it's the honeymoon next," Serena said, "That's going to be..."

"HONEYMOON!" said Latias interrupting Serena, "My favorite part!"

Latias swoop in between Ashes leg and carried him off into the sky.

"Latias! Wait! He's supposed to be all our husbands" Dawn yelled.

**Epilogue**

Latias lived with her husband for the rest of her life showed her unending love for him several times a days, except for days when it lasted all day and only technically happen once. He provided her with many half breed children that were an affront to nature. Their names were John, Calvin, Moe, Gio, Bryce, George Daniel, Andy, Joey, Craig, John, Brie, Mike, Chavo, Lisa, Eddie, Will, Cole, Carrie, Chris, and Klay*. They don't speak of the eldest John for he was turn to evil. They also had even more children after that to make up for not having many daughters, and then had a thirty daughter birthing streak! After that, Latias and Ash had their first seriously talk about how they were going to do with the rest of their lives. It was decide that Ash would get vasectomy, but they had twin daughters afterwards because the procedure wasn't effective right away and Latias couldn't wait.

Also, Serena and Dawn were there. Serena's children were named Ash Jr and Serena Jr. Dawn's child was Dusk who is my super awesome OC.

Also, due to a time travel incident, Clement ended up marrying all of Ash's daughters at Bonnie's request, but he wasn't traumatized like Ash because they were all human shaped with large knockers of various sizes larger than a volleyball (except Serena Jr who was a human with breasts merely the size of her head). He was only slightly afraid at first but after the action began he was totally cool with it. They had four hundred and nine children. Best younger sister ever!

~~~~~~The End~~~~~~

**Author note: the more astute of you may have realized that this story was a parody of Ashxharem fics. I did this for several reasons:**

**1\. Ash isn't a good choice for a harem story because it will either involve him being not very responsive, or more likely have a completely different personality. I would respect these story much more if it was the author's first name replaced with Ash. Don't make Ash into something he's not. It's especially clear when "Ash" doesn't have Pikachu.**

**2\. Arceus Christ! There are enough stories with God as the main plot driver.**

**3\. Poor balance of power.**

**4\. Destined to win from page one: It's never a mystery if the Chosen One is going to win.**

**5\. Aura. Seriously, a trainer's main weapon should be his/her mind. Why have problem solving if the character just Aura his way to victory?**

**6\. Too many to list. I covered a lot of things in this story.**

***Also, a lot of the humor is based on reviews.**

**Recommendations: **A New World by fantasy1290: good AshXharem, they can exist. Still some point that apply here show up.

Moemon: Three Secrets by me: OCxharem

Best Wishes by The REAL Moonwolf 3000: OCxreverseharem that inspired me to write.


	8. Scraped Alternate Ending

_**Future notes: It is highly recommended that you proceed directly onto the next chapter.**_

**Who just follows a completed story? It makes no logical sense. Yes, I'm talking about you, Mr. Zedog. Following and reviewing or following and favoriting in the same stroke I can understand, but only following when the story is clearly marked complete?**

**Anyways, I have decided to put my original plans for the finale. It isn't nearly as good, but it's interesting how these things change. Keep in mind I threw this out for many reasons. One of the reason was that some stories actually had a less than petty betrayal and I didn't know about them.  
**

Chapter X: Ascension: Ash REALLY betrayed.

_Serena, Flannery, and Dawn were all wearing wedding dresses._

I can't believe I'm getting married like this," Flannery said.

"Neither can I," said Dawn thinking Flannery meant something completely different from what she actually meant.

"The wedding can't start now," Arceus said, "There is one thing the that Ash most do."

"What's that?" Ash said.

"You must replace me as god of this universe?" Arceus said.

"Wait, why are you giving that up for me?" Ash said.

"I want to retire and start my own breakfast restaurant. Then I can spend the rest of my life doing what I love."

A glowing orb ascended from Arceus's chest. It hovered above Ash and Ash got sucked into. Ash was transformed.

"You've manage to become stronger than I was," Arceus said, "You are now Primal Arceus."

Ash transformed himself into an anthro form.

"So, just like that, I'm God now?"

"Yes," Arceus said, "Although you're still bounded by you wedding obligations."

"All powerful and can't change that." Ash said, "Well, at least my wives are pretty much the only thing I have to worry about, which is a good thing."

Ash went back to the altar and prepared to get married. His brides where waiting on the other side of the room.

Suddenly, a master ball flew at Ash and Ash got sucked in.

"Yes, I captured the most powerful pokémon in the universe!" said Brock.

Cynthia appeared.

"Marry me!" Brock said.

"Why," asked Cynthia.

"Because I'm the most powerful trainer in the world."

"That's a pretty good reason," Cynthia said as she made out with Brock.

"No!" Arceus, "I can't believe it. Ash was betrayed in a way that constitutes actual betrayal!"

**Epilogue (scraped version)**

All women in the world married Brock, an he had all the children, and the human race died from incest a generation later. **(A/N Brock is nowhere that perverted. He would pretty much go into dad mode and release Ash after he got a wife.)**

**I had many different versions of the epilogue, but it ranged from stupid to boring.**


	9. Son of the Legend (Start of Part 2)

**Part 2: Dusk Ketchum's Super SEX Adventure**

**Sorry, I couldn't help myself. This story is based on my OC from the epilogue. No, this isn't a completely new story as you'll see.  
**

"Human Speaking"

"Pokémon Speaking"

"_thoughts_"

"_t_e_l_e_p_a_t_h_y_"

**Author's notes**

**Transition**

**Computerized voice**

EMPHASIS

"_**Canadian Accent**_**"**

* * *

**Are you a girl or a boy?(A/N: LOL, I copied the game.)**

Dusk Ketchum lived alone with his mom, Dawn Ketchum, until he was fifteen. He was 5' 10'', and his hair was a seamless combination of raven black and watery blue. He was really popular at school and stuff. He is an aura guardian in training as well. His father was the famous Ash Ketchum, who saved the world from the ultimate evil. Today was going to be the day he got his first pokémon from Professor Tree.

Dusk woke up realizing it was too bright outside.

"Oh, no," Dusk said heroically, "I'm late for getting my first pokémon." **(A/N: LOL, I copied the anime)**

Dusk ran downstairs and saw someone with his mom.

"Dusk, this is Arceus," Mom said, "and he has a few things to tell you."

Dusk was surprised in a very masculine way. Arceus was the famous restaurant owner who was also the creator of the universe.

"Arceus," Dusk said in a cool way, "What are you doing here?"

"I am here to inform you of two things. The first thing is that you have your father's ability to impregnate pokémon to create an oppressed master race of pokémorphs. It will be your duty to procreate with the six female pokémon of your choosing that will make up your party. It also wouldn't hurt if you slept around everyone once in a while unlike your father, Ash Ketchum: The Most Chosen of Chosen Ones. I mean seriously, just find a village of wild gardevoir or something."

"_Oh great, I'm expected to be a poképhile. I can't even begin to understand the obsession those guys have with gardevoir. It's not even human in build. I guess I would need something with two legs, and more meat than a stickly gardevoir. All I have to do is turn off the lights, picture a girl, and hope they get pregnant the first time," _Dusk thought smartly.

"The second thing is that the Aura Revival Act was passed. It is now law that you must take six wives, form a strong bond, and then start a clan by making them the mothers of your children," Arceus said.

"What a minute," Dusk injected like a smartass, "How exactly is this law enforced? Am I going to get fined? How am I supposed to get any women to agree with this? Are they going to be thrown in jail or something if they don't go out with me? This seems like a huge violation of human rights. How the hell did this get pass through a legislative body? Whose interest in government does it even serve?"

"Umm, umm," Arceus said, "I'll be right back. I'll leave you to your mom and step-mom."

Arceus disappeared in a flash.

"My step-mom?" Dusk said quizzically, yet intelligently.

Latias burst in through the front door.

"Hi Dusk. I've come to teach you Sex Ed," Latias said.

"Latias," Dawn interrupted, "He was already taught in fifth-grade."

"Nonsense. There's only one way to prepare him for the real world," Latias said slapping Dusk's butt with her wing.

"But, this isn't right," Dusk said.

"Don't worry," Latias said, "I'm not actually related to you."

"That's the least of my issues," Dusk complained.

"Well, I can't teach you right here, in front of your mother," Latias said.

Latias shoved Dusk outside onto the front lawn.

"You're so much like your dad," Latias said, "He still acts panicky and reluctant."

**One hour Latias**

"Is it over?" Dusk asked.

"I guess so. You had such amazing endurance for your first time."

"Well, it was hard to get off because of the fact that you are a pokémon that looks nothing like a human, that you are my dad's main wife, that I might get you pregnant, that we are on my mom's front lawn with my mom nearby, that we are by a PUBLIC sidewalk in my home neighborhood, that school bus full of kids that broke down that's can't be more than thirty feet away, that marill that came out to watch, and finally because you kept talking about my dad having sex with you."

"Sorry. It's just that you're so much like him. It's like having sex with Ash, except not because you're his son. Also, I'm pregnant with one of your half-siblings so I can't have your child."

Dusk zipped his pants up and went over to the lab. It was best to forget that ever happened.

"Dusk, you're late," Professor Tree said, "But we have plenty of good pokémon left. I think you'll want this one"

A ball came down from a tube in the ceiling. Dusk opening it up and an eevee popped.

"Umm, this isn't what I want," Dusk said.

"What was I thinking giving you that? I should know better than that." Professor Tree pushed a button and the eevee was recalled with the Pokéball rising into the tube. A red Cherishball came down. "Alright, this pokémon will surely be worthy of being called your partner."

Dusk walked over and picked up the Cherishball. He opened It and watch the pokemon materialized. It was…

...

...

A SHINY eevee!

"This still isn't what I want. Don't you have a bunch of lucurios?"

"We're all out of those, I'm afraid," Professor Tree said, "But we do have a few dratini."

"_Dratini does evolve into something that is vague shaped like a women," _Dusk thought with a cringe, _"I'm going to have to consider god-damn sex with all my future captures."_

"I'll take a female," Dusk said while scowling.

"But all our remaining shinies are male," Professor Tree said.

"I-said-a-female-please," Dusk yelled to avoid being smited by Arceus, and because he was annoyed by the sapient plant for insisting on getting a shiny.

**Submit Your Own Characters! Here is character sheet. You can PM them to me(although I will accept them if they are left in reviews, Hint Hint).  
**

**Name:**

**Sex:**

**Appearance:**

**Tragic Backstory:**

**Pokémon:**


	10. Dusk is a Good Person

**Author's Notes: I had three OC submissions but I wouldn't be able to introduce any of them.  
**

Dusk was almost to the Pokémon Center in the next city when he came across an injured beast. It was a suicune with an broken leg.

"Suicune!" Dusk said, "I'll save you. I know the way to the Pokémon Center.

"**Suicune weighs in at 187 kilograms," **said the Pokédex.

"Well, I guess I'll have to capture you," Dusk said.

"Okay," said Suicune in a feminine voice.

"Wait! I haven't promised to release you if you want to go," Dusk said.

"Fine," said Suicune.

Dusk threw a normal Pokeball and caught the legendary beast. He ran to the Pokémon Center, and into the Pokemon Center, and to the counter with Nurse Joy.

"Nurse Joy, I found an injured wild pokémon. Here's my trainer card."

"Your second pokémon, I presume. Is it a good one?"

"No, it's temporary because I could not carry it."

"Well, it's probably yours now," Joy said, "A ton of trainers meet their second pokémon in such a manner very early in their journey. Sometimes, it's their first pokémon, but you already have a trainer card, so it was most likely your second pokémon. It's just a weird phenomenon we nurses noticed."

Dusk handed the Pokéball over to nurse joy. He then turned around and saw a pink lucario sitting all by itself.

"Excuse me Nurse, why is there a pink lucario sitting by itself over there?" Dusk asked.

"her trainer abandoned it," Nurse Joy said.

"Really? A trainer abandoned a unique lucario?"

"Some trainers are just bad people. She also seemed to be abused. We have a lot of unwanted pokémon that only need a trainer to take care of them. Three more to be exact."

"Let me guess: blaziken is one of them," Dusk said.

"Yes actually. The other two are a gardevoir with angel wings and a permanently evolved shiny lopunny."

"And all of these pokémon were abandoned? I guess ratatta is a secretly awesome pokémon. There's really no reason for these pokémon to be abandoned. Hell, there are even all evolved."

"The trainer abandoned them because he was a bad person," the nurse assured Dusked.

"But what is the motivation behind abandoning well-trained, unique, and powerful pokémon?"

"To be a jerk obviously. Now are you going to be a good person and not-greedily befriend these wonderful and powerful pokémon and add them to your party?"

"Let me guess: all these pokémon are female."

"Why yes," the nurse said.

"I guess I'll take them."

"Thank you. You are a good person."

The pink lucario ran over and hug Dusk. The nurse gave him all the pokeball. Then the ceiling was lifted up and Arceus descended from the sky and addressed him. "Congratulations Dusk. You have captured six female pokémon for procreation with absolutely no help from me. It is time for the next part of your quest. I have created a new region with six of my favorite female gym leaders that must marry the chosen one if they lose to him. It's in the fine print of their contract. There will also be Team Rocket."

"Are Whitney and Clair there?" Dusk asked, "They are the best MILFs"

"_Oh no," _Arceus thought, _"I forgot about the next generation thing. I can't have this be a MILF fic. I'm pretty sure most of the readers of this story are either lolicons or furries. I don't want to lose views and favorites. Korrina is still pretty young though."_

Suddenly, a guy charged into the pokémon center holding two AK-47s. He stood at the height of 6 feet with an athletic build with well-toned muscles, hazel messy yet spicky hair. He had blue eyes and a golden brown skin tone.

"My name is Castor Dorando, and I will destroy you Arceus."

Castor started firing his guns at Arceus but Arceus ignored him. "I will now teleport you to the new region."

With a flash Dusk and Arceus was in some unknown little village. Oddly, Castor was there unloading bullets into Arceus.

"Also, here is a bag full of rare candies," Arceus said before disappearing. Castor stopped firing.

"I apologize for that," Castor said, "I see you have a female lucario too. I must have for any man."

"I'm not sure about that," Dusk said, "What's your story?"

"As a child my parents sold me for drugs and money to some scientists. I was experimented as a child to become a perfect machine to capture Arceus and destroy anyone who stands in my way. I was supposed to become the trainer to defeat Arceus chosen and bring anarchy to the world. Throughout my stay in the labs, I would get stabbed, injected, experiment, and tortured so that sometimes death sounded better but then one day I escaped when one of the guards was too drunk and tried to take advantage of me. Luckily, I beat up the guard and escaped to the night vowing revenge to the building's TR logo."

"So you attacked Arceus automatically due to some biological trigger?"

"Yes. Now that you know my tragic backstory, let us never speak of it again," Castor said.

**Author's note: Thank you to ThePrinceOfLight. It looks like I did manage to get an OC in there, but I already wrote the old author's note at the top. Oh well, there's nothing I could do about that. It is all the way at the top of this document after all.  
**


	11. Dark and Gritty Team Rocket

**Serious Author's Notes: With the OC submission, I get a strong suspicion that the vast majority of the reader are male, despite me slapping parody everywhere to not take the harem seriously.**

* * *

Giovanni was sitting in his boss chair in his office waiting . He often had to shoot his executives and nameless grunts every day because that is how you run a criminal organization. Unfortunately, that meant that the carpet had to be changed a lot because blood was impossible to get out.

An executive walked in.

"Sir, we've discovered a substance that can cure any disease, including breast cancer!" The executive said.

"This is most excellent news," Giovanni said.

"It's a substance that comes from horns of a lucario. Team Rocket has four males and five females in total."

"Good, have them killed and harvested right away." The boss grinned as he gave the order.

"Actually, it would be much more profitable to breed them."

"Remembered when we built the weather machine and used it terrorized the populace instead of making a huge buck with the agricultural sector?"

"Yes, sir"

"The point of being a bad guy is to be evil enough so the protagonist can feel justified in beating us. We should be using this as an excuse to hunt lucarios to extinction."

"But we could make trillions."

Giovanni got impatient and shot the executive with his gun. "This is dark and gritty Team Rocket, bitches."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dusk was in a science glass vat thing submerged in liquid. He opened his eye.

"_How did I get here?"_ Dusk thought, _"How am I breathing in this thing?"_

There was a bunch of tubes sticking in Dusk.

"_Oh no, now it's one of these types of stories."_

Dusk punch the glass of the vat and broke out.

"Oh no," said one of two Team Rocket scientist, "The umbreon pokémorph is more powerful than we anticipated"

The Rocket scientist threw two pokéballs. A zubat and a bidoof came out of the pokéballs. Dusk put up his hands and shot the pokémon with some sort attack. The pokémon fainted. Dusk then knocked out the scientist with the attack. He couldn't be bothered to think of Umbreon's movepool.

"Well, that was easy," Dusk said. He noticed another vat. Dusk did a slicing attack and broke the vat. A sixteen year old boy with vaporeon ear/fins who was 6'11" in height came out. He was wearing a black T-shirt with a dark blue hoodie and wears black cargo pants. He was also wearing white sneakers with blue lining.

"Thanks for saving me," the guy said, "My name is Blue. My parents died in an accident when I was very young, and then was raised by a flock of…"

The lab's alarms went off.

"We don't have time for a tragic backstory," Dusk said.

"Sorry. It's just that it is very important to the person who submitted me. I thought it would be interesting because of that."

There was an one hand backpack and six pokeballs on a table nearly by. "That's too convenient," Dusk said. The boy took their possessions and fled the room.

As the alarm light were flashing, the came across a guard in front of a high security door. Blue pulled out a pistol and shot aura bullets at the guard.

"Actually, I might want to hear that backstory sometimes," Dusk said, "So how are we going to get though the door?"

"The guard must have the security card on him," Blue said search the unconscious guard.

"Actually, it only works like that in fiction. Real security cards require a combination to be entered and that not even counting…" Blue slid the guard card through the slot and the door opened. "Never mind."

They ran through the facility with blue shooting nonlethal aura bullets at everyone. The got to a window and a rope fell down from above. They grabbed on to the rope and were flown to safety by Castor in a helicopter.

"Well, that was easy to escape from," Dusk said.

"I guess it's time for you to earn badges if I read this situation right," Blue said.

"No. I have to fight Team Rocket because they are evil," Dusk said.

"But what about the league?"

"There's this thing called priorities."

* * *

Meanwhile, but in Giovanni's office, someone came bursting in.

"Yet another laboratory with pokemorphs had a break out," the nameless grunt said.

Giovanni wasn't surprised. The pokemorph experiments had an 80% breakout rate.

"Did the alarm go off in a dramatic manner?" asked the Rocket boss.

"Of course, but I think we should change our policy."

"What do you mean, nameless grunt?" Nameless grunts literally have no value. He must have been hoping to be promotion to executive with an idea.

"I think we should increase security so they don't escape."

"That's nonsense."

"Okay, what if we use willing subject? Ones that may have allegiance to Team Rocket after we make them into super awesome Sue warriors instead of random people we kidnap who will only want revenge?"

"That's a fine idea, but we must do the unwilling subjects at the same time," Giovanni said, "I don't really want the creation of unwilling pokemorphs to stop. They make such great stories."


	12. The Bad Guy's Lair

Dusk barged into the Team Rocket headquarters with his sidekicks.

"The hero?" the receptionist said, "You're early. You're supposed to be getting badges."

"There's been a change in plan," Dusk said.

"All right then," the receptionist said. She pressed a button underneath her desk and an alarm went off. A bunch of nameless grunts ran into the reception room.

"I'll hold off these guys off," Castor said heroically. Blue and Dusk ran to the elevator. They watch Castor engage in battle as the elevator doors closed. Dusk looked at the numbers when the elevator music started playing.

**_"Thirty-seven floors, aye."_** Dusk said.

"Yeap, Thirty-seven."

**Floor 6**

"Do you think it's going to be this easy?" Dusk said.

"It's better than taking the stairs."

**Floor 13**

"They could cut the wires," said Dusk.

"Yeap." Blue said, "I don't think they will though."

"Yeah."

**Floor 18**

The door opened and a Team Rocket intern came in.

"Could you tell me which floor Giovanni is on?"

"He's on the top floor," the intern said.

"Of course he is."

**Floor 21**

The intern got off at this floor.

**Floor 28**

Dusk and Blue looked at each other awkwardly.

**Floor 31**

"Almost there," Dusk said.

**Floor 34**

Blue snickered.

**Floor 35**

The elevator stopped. Two people were holding furniture.

"We'll take the next one," one of two the people said.

**Floor 37**

Dusk and blue charged out of the elevator. The saw what was obviously an important door. A Team Rocket executive blocked the way.

"Stop right there," the executive said, "This is the boss's room."

"I'll take care of this," Blue said. Blue sent out a staravia while the executive sent out an already injured houndoom. "Why is your houndoom already injured?"

"Team Rocket has a policy of abusing out pokémon," the executive said.

Dusk went into the boss's room while the executive was distracted.

"Well, if it isn't Ash Ketchum's son." Giovanni said, "I should have taken care of you earlier. We didn't even have time to almost drive lucarios to extinction."

"Well, I have a powerful team already," Dusk said, "You should give up."

Then a serious sounding female spoke up. "Did you think that executive was his last line of defense?" It was Sabrina in a Team Rocket uniform.

"Sabrina's a member of Team Rocket!" Dusk said, "That's so original!"

"What are you talking about?" Sabrina said, "I've always been a member of Team Rocket. You know there is more to Pokémon than the anime and game?"

"I'm pretty sure you not a member of Team Rocket. I've read plenty of stories with you and none of them mentioned you being associated with Team Rocket."

Sabrina scowled. "Are you really that ignorant?"

"Oh, what's next? Giovanni having a canonical son? The Kanto Elite Four being evil and allowing Team Rocket to operate? Giovanni having mystical healing power?"

Sabrina sent out a Mr. Mine. Dusk sent out his dragonite.

"Giovanni, I will defeat you after I'm done with Sabrina," Dusk said.

"No you won't" Giovanni said throwing a smoke bomb. He disappeared.

"Giovanni abandon me here?" Sabrina said. "How dare he leave me here to get arrested? Well, I better have sexy time with the hero."

"Something isn't right here," Dusk said. "There's something more to this.

"What do you mean?" Sabrina said caressing his chest. "Is something not adding up?"

"Things never add up," Dusk said. Dusk pushed aside a book case and it revealed a steel door. "It looks like I'm going to discover the real conspiracy. Dragonite, use hyperbeam on the steel door."


	13. A New Start (end of part 2)

Dusk walked to the broken door but Sabrina took his hand.

"Please, don't go there," Sabrina said.

Her grip was strong but Dusk kept on walking. "I have to find out who is behind all of this."

"But, don't you want to have sex with me?"

"This isn't the time for that," Dusk said. "You just trying to distract me so I can't find out who's really controlling Team Rocket." Dusk managed to free himself to from her grip.

Dusk walk into the door and saw a large pokémon there.

"Arceus?" he said.

"Dusk, this isn't what it looks like," Arceus said. "I'm just here to get you laid by Sabrina. I'm not part of any conspiracy."

"Sure you aren't." Dusk said.

Suddenly, a radio transmission came in. "Arceus, this is Giovanni. I have escaped the building leaving the protagonist behind like you ordered. What are your new orders?"

Dusk and Arceus stared at each other.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little behind all of this," Arceus admitted.

"But why, Arceus?"

"I didn't mean you any harm. In fact, I wanted you to just get laid a lot and be a hero."

"Can't you just let things play out as they should?" Dusk begged. "Your constant interference makes it so nothing makes sense in the world. It's just become a preset battle of appointed good guys and poorly motivated bad guys and people who don't act like people act like."

"But people aren't interesting when they act realistically. They have to betray and murder each other over little things. How else is there supposed to be drama? Besides, how does one actually gets a person to sleep with you in reality? The world may never know."

"Can't things be at least a little realistic? Why put all this on me?"

"Because I want to live vicariously through you. Do you know what it's like to watch every season of the Pokémon anime and not be able to have sex with all the characters you want to? Do you know what it feels like to watch a kids show for years on end and never have it become dark and gritty. Do you know how disappointing it is the Ash never had a girlfriend when he always travels with a girl? This is why I create all these stories."

"But shouldn't these stories be more sensible than the anime? It's a kid's show. It should be that hard."

"I just wanted to make things more interesting. I don't really know how to make realistic conflict arise. I only know that bad people to bad things. It's very hard to plan things out. That's why I usually just give my chosen ones a lot of power."

"Maybe you should just take the time to plan."

"No, I'll show you. I'll make the Ultimate Chosen One using all my powers, and He'll be much more appreciative of all my gifts. I will use all of my power if I have too." Arceus disappeared in a flash.

* * *

**Elsewhere**

Arceus teleported to a random six year old boy name Arthur.

"Lord Arceus. I would have never imagined you would grace me with your presence," Arthur said. "Shall I prostrate in worship or are you here to deliver a divine mandate?"

Arceus was not disturbed by the fact that the six year old boy spoke the way he did. He always wrote all dialogue the same way no matter the context or the character of origin.

"You, descendant of Lord Arron, shall be the greatest of Chosen Ones. I will give you the power to control legendaries, use powerful aura attacks, and marry as many womens as you want."

"Really?"

"Yes. I shall also make you completely invulnerable. All of your pokémon will gain great aura powers. You shall also be the strongest psychic. Um, and you can transform into any pokémon." Arceus paused to think up more powers. "And you shall also be able to make all pokémon anthro. Not that gijinka. Anthro are much more interesting than unimaginative humanized pokémon. Don't try to make it a boring humanized pokémon story because anthro is so much better. Make sure that the pokémon are described as such and leave no room for ambiguity."

"Umm, can I start with Mienshao? It's my favorite pokémon."

"Pttf, that's not even a legendary."

* * *

**Eight years later**

Arthur finally got to roof of the SUPERSECRET base. The leaders of Team Magma, Team Aqua, Team Plasma, Team Rocket, Team Galactic, Team Flare, and Team Shadow were all there. They all joined force to defeat Arthur.

"Dialga, Palkia, and Ho-Oh go!" Arthur said calling out his pokémon. Arthur then used telekinesis to knocked out all the leaders before they could even call out their pokémon.

Arceus came down from the heavens. "Arthur, you have been a wonderful Chosen One. You have already defeated all the bad guys. I do wonder why you called out your pokémon if you were just going to knock them out."

"It's so I could reach my full potential."

"What do you mean, Arthur?"

Arthur transformed into an arceus. "Spatial Rend, Roar of time, and Sacred Fire" the transformed Arthur ordered. Arthur used Judgement himself.

All the attacks hit Arceus and he fell from the sky.

"Why?" Arceus said, "You were supposed to be good guy. Why are you bad guy?"

"It's because this little game is boring me. I have all of these powers and I have to play hero in this little scenario? I could be so much more, and you were the only thing really in my way. Now, I have control of all the teams and this will only be the beginning. I shall call it Team Aura."

"Maybe I shouldn't have randomly give kids powers," Arceus said before losing consciousness.

**End of Part 2**

**Okay, that' s the last Ash Parody story I'll be making. No, I'm not making a part 3.**

**Also, I have a LP of an adventure with Arceus in Episode 1 on Youtube if you can find it. I was such a noob.**


End file.
